What do you mean?

If there's one phrase I use a lot in my life it's "What do you mean"?  I've been teased about it *cough Carla cough*.  Seems like I'm always trying to clarify what people mean.

Communication is a not a simple science, it has nuances and grey areas and can be ambiguous.  I like to deal with facts so I'm always searching for true meanings.  

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the 500 words used most in the English language each have an average of 23 different meanings. The word "round," for instance, has 70 distinctly different meanings.  It is often the case that a  statement could be interpreted in several ways by different individuals, rendering the statement subjective rather than objective. 

Some things are cut and dry, for example:

"The sky is blue".

 I'm pretty sure I know what you mean by that, no room for misinterpretation.

But if you say:

"Let's keep it casual". 

What do you mean by that?  Casual is a word that means many different things to many different people. For some, it means spending time together only once or twice a month. For others, it could mean being together all the time, but not telling friends and family about your relationship and refusing to use the boyfriend/girlfriend labels. 

 It's hard enough to interpret things when you're face to face.  At least in person you have the benefit of seeing the body language that comes with the words.  Now that we're communicating only by text it makes things even harder.  When you strip away facial cues, social context, tone of voice and other information, people can easily misunderstand.

Here are some tips for making sure you don't accidentally annoy, anger or intimidate the people you communicate with over e-mail.  <<Source:  Personal Tech Pipeline>>

• If you're joking or being sarcastic, use surrogate facial cues like smiley faces — : ) — or type "[grin]" or use some other indicator of your intent. They seem trivial, but are very important.
• Use plentiful qualifiers such as "don't take this the wrong way," "I'm joking," or "I'm not angry at all."
• Beware of brief e-mails, as they can be interpreted as brusque. An e-mail with just a word or two can be interpreted as frosty, angry or demeaning.
• Start the e-mail with something obviously humorous, which conveys that you're not angry.
• Be aware of who you're talking to. It's very easy for a co-worker or subordinate at work to read anger, disappointment or other negative emotions into your notes. If you're a manager, you need to go out of your way to send friendly e-mails or you'll end up with a morale problem. In-laws and relatives might be easily offended as well.
• End your e-mail with something nice, such as "thank you!" or "hey, I really appreciate this."
• Always re-read your e-mails before sending — and be on the lookout for areas of misinterpretation.
• Don't get angry from e-mail, then reply based on your anger. First find out the intent of the sender by calling, or asking for clarification. Remember: nearly half of all e-mails are misinterpreted.
• Don't use e-mail for emotional or sensitive topics. Pick up the phone or visit in person.
• Bonus tip: Be aware that if you're talking about someone, you're more likely to accidentally send that person the e-mail. Make sure you address e-mail to the right person, especially if you're talking about a third party.

Goodfellas is one of my favorite movies.  Here's a clip of Tommy asking Henry what he means when he says "You're funny".  


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E84VqqCPI7w&NR=1

Let me know if you've ever misinterpreted something or constantly searching out the meaning behind a message or a phrase.  And don't be surprised if I ask you what you mean by that.  :)